What do you mean you forgot the kippers? I sent you to the store to get one thing and that one thing was kippers.

What are you holding behind your back? Did you buy another bottle of squidale? The pantry is FULL of squidale. How could you possibly decide that we needed more? I don’t care if it’s their seasonal roe infused squidale, you have a bloody barrel of the stuff. Do you know what we really need? Come on guess. I’ll give you a moment.

Yes, kippers. Which you conveniently forgot. What’s that? I don’t bloody care if you don’t bloody like kippers. We need them. Now what do you expect me to serve our guests tonight?

No, we are not feeding them nothing but squidale. What would the neighbors think when our guests inevitably start gallivanting around the neighborhood, sloshed, singing an off-key rendition of “Tentacles Up Mother Brown”? Hmm? Do you really want that, because that’s what you’ll get, mark my words.

No? Well then, off to the store with you again. This time don’t forget the kippers.

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